the Physic, the Android, and the Moron
by RiverTam69
Summary: The academy River went to was the best in the whole Alliance rule. Aperture. She would have no other education. However, it all goes terribly, terribly wrong.


**I deleted my first story, you know, because I hate it. but this one is pure EPIC so, R&R  
**

**~RiverTam69  
**

**(I do not own Firefly or Portal2 no matter how much I wish I did)  
**

**PROLOG**

Kaylee's P.O.V.

Kaylee stood looking up at the massive mettle door, a big smile plastered on her face. This was what she had been working up to ever since she first held a screwdriver.

Aperture.

The number one supplier of all mechanical devices in the world, and they had bought her idea for transferring an AI into an android body, and her AI design. Not only that, they had asked her to preform the operation and keep an eye on her creation for the next three years! It was more then she could have

ever hoped for.

Kaylee slowly ran her index finger over Aperture's logo before ringing the door bell.

"Hello?" a voice asked as a camera turned down and focused on Kaylee. She looked up at it. "Hi... my name's Kaywhinet. I'm here to transfer the AI."

"Oh, thank god you're here!" the voice from above boomed excitedly, "We've been afraid she was going to... well, never you mind that. Just, yes, come on in. we'll show you where GLaDOS is." the door swung open and Kaylee walked side. She was meet by a woman in her early-twenty's wearing a lab coat. "Oh, You're here, you're here, you're here! Come this way, she's right down the elevator." The woman told Kaylee as she pushed her into the lift.

It was rather cramped and stuffy, but Kaylee didn't mind. She was too focused on the brilliant possibility's that lay beneath.

The woman next to Kaylee extended her hand. "My name is Akeco. I'll be your over-viewer. Just so we can see how you work."

Kaylee shook Akeco's hand. "It's nice to meet you." she said. Akeco smiled and pressed the down button.

As they began to descend, Kaylee found that the elevator was made of glass, so she could see each of the hundreds of floors as they passed.

She witnessed Turrets being made, cores being re-built, and then, and the last floor, (Of the Aperture she was allowed in) was GLaDOS. Her head was face down, and her body limp, but her one optic fell on Kaylee and remained there for a very long time.

"Why isn't she moving?" Kaylee asked as she cautiously approached the gigantic robot that hung from the ceiling.

Akeco sighed. "Well... ehem... you see..." Akeco was obviously trying to find a way to phrase the words. "Umm, well... She's been deprived of oil." Akeco finally said, though her eyes darted across the room, and she played with the tips of her hair. Kaylee was going to ask why, but Akeco interrupted.

"Well, then! Let's get started!" She said cheerily. Kaylee nodded. She was brought to a room filled with every tool she could possibly want hanging on the wall. It brought to mind the Men in Black weapons room, only fit for her. She chose what tools she thought she might need, and also grabbed every wire she could lay her hands on.

She set everything up on a table next to the AI, who still had it's optic on her. Kaylee held her gaze, sensing something was not right.

Kaylee gingerly walked over and placed a hand on top of GLaDOS's head. "It's okay, dear. It's only gonna sting a little bit. I'll make it as painless as possible. Plus, you'll be able to walk, and that's always fun." Kaylee felt GLaDOS's mood lighten a bit at this. She smiled and tapped GLaDOS on the head before returning to her tools.

"Miss Fry?" Kaylee turned to see three men in lab coats bringing down a very large box. "We have your android here. Where do you want it?"

Kaylee thought for a moment. "Umm, it should be in a chair. Preferably one with arms." she said. The men nodded. On of them put the box down and searched for a chair. He returned a few moments later. "Where?" he said, straining. The wait of the chair was obviously to much, but Kaylee was too absorbed in what she was doing to notice.

"Put it about five feet away from GLaDOS." she said, without looking up. After the men had everything ready, Kaylee started attaching wires.

She tightened bolts, took out screws, and eventually GLaDOS was attached to her new android body. "Okay, we're ready!" Kaylee announced. Everyone in the room put on safety-goggles and gathered around Kaylee's work bench. Kaylee walked over to GLaDOS before beginning. She once again placed her hand on GLaDOS's head and stared into her optic. "You ready?" she asked in a whisper.

GLaDOS's optic moved up and down to signify a nod. Kaylee returned the gesture.

She jogged back to her work bench and put her goggles on.

"Five... Four..." Kaylee picked up the button pad and her finger dangled over it. "Three...Two...One!" GLaDOS suddenly felt a tugging sensation, as if the life was being sucked out of her. She wanted to scream, but no noise came. For a few moments she felt nothing. She was sure she had died. But then, she felt relief wash over her, and she was put in the android body. Kaylee stared in wonder as her creation sprung to life.

She had silver skin, and long, flowing white hair, which framed her blue and orange eyes. She was wearing a full bodied mettle suit with boots that reached her ankles and pointed at the tips. Her eyes began to glow, and she inhaled very sharply as Kaylee ran to her side, checking the watch-like monitor on her creation's wrist. Then she looked at GLaDOS and smiled.

"It's... Alive!" she yelled.

River's P.O.V:

_About a year later..._

A fourteen year old River was hanging upside down from the big oak tree outside her house with her eyes shut and her arms laying limply at her side.

She liked the feeling of blood rushing to her head. It helped her think.

Just as a fantastic thought was coming to her, (Something about a spaceship) her mother was calling her from the doorway. River sighed.

Of course. Every time she was enjoying herself some kind of distraction would interrupt her. She debated just shutting her mother out and continuing her meditation, but her mother would just keep on yelling, so she let her self fall from the tree and land on all fours.

As she grew closer, River saw that her mother held a phone in her hand. River broke into a run.

"_Please be Aperture, Please be Aperture!" _She thought as she took the phone from her mother, who smiled widely.

"Hello?" River said into the receiver. "Hello, River. This is GLaDOS from Aperture calling." River wanted to scream out of excitement and dance like the hippos in Fantasia, but her father had told her to appear professional no matter what when being offered something.

"Yes. I've been expecting your call." She said matter-of-factly. GLaDOS laughed. "Yes, I know you have. I've taken some time to go over your file, and I must say River, it is quite impressive. You have been gladly accepted into Aperture's university wing."

River's heart leaped up in her chest. "I'm so very exited to work with you! Tell me, when do I start?"

She could hear the shuffling of papers as GLaDOS spoke. "Well, that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. You have a choice to begin around the time when you turn eighteen, which is what most people chose, or you may start next month." GLaDOS replied.

"Next month, of coarse!" River said, forgetting all about being professional. "Alright, then." GLaDOS said while chuckling. "Thank you so much!" River exlamed.

"You're very welcome. We are all exited to see what you can do." With that, GLaDOS hung the phone up.

River handed the phone back to her mother. "I start next month!" She cried. River's mother embraced her. "Finally River! You will go on to do grate things."

River walked back to her tree and hung upside down, but her mind was to fluttered with her phone call that she couldn't think strait.

"_What will I wear? Will there be others like me? I wonder if me and GLaDOS will be friends. She seems nice enough..." _

GLaDOS's POV:

"We are exited to see what you can do." GLaDOS said as she placed the phone back on the receiver.

She smiled to herself. This was the most extraordinary human in the known universe, and she was getting her into her facility.

She did a fist pump motion she remembered Kaylee doing when GLaDOS had opened her android eyes for the first time. "The only thing better then this would be having Chell in my grasp..." She said to herself. Then she shook her head. No, no, no. Chell was gone. And probably dead. After her moron brother came back and took her from GLaDOS. Yes, she said she wanted her gone, but it was a lie.

She found the girl in the jumpsuit and made her test. But then Wheatley showed up again and took her away, leaving GLaDOS by herself with nertoxin. She flooded the building again, which pushed the scientists to put her in an android body with human emotions in attempt to make her more gentle to others.

It had worked. But for the first time that she could remember, she had feelings and it was terrifying.

She decided to look in the kitchen for something to drink. She strutted in and looked around the cupboard. "Hmmm... Coffee?" She said to herself. "Eh. Worth a shot..." she read the directions and sat impatiently waiting for it to finish. Ding, ding, ding! The timer went off, and GLaDOS pored the blackish-brown liquid into a cup.

As she took a sip, she immediately spit it out. "Oh, god! What monster invented this?" She yelled to herself. Kaylee poked her head through the door. "Problem, there?" she asked her creation.

GLaDOS Pointed at her coffee. "I just despise the flavor of this... coffee..." She said, running her fingers over her tongue, trying to get the rest of the flavor off of her taste buds.

Kaylee smiled. "Well, it usually tastes better if you add milk and sugar." she said. GLaDOS nodded. "Mmhmm... Would you mind showing me?" she asked.

Kaylee laughed. "Of coarse, GLaDOS!" she went to the cupboard and pulled out the thing she usually uses in her morning cup of joe.

After she finished, GLaDOS took a sip. She gasped. The warm, sweet liquid that ran down her throat was pure heaven. It calmed her emotions, and just all around pleased her.

"Thank you, Kaywhinet. This is absolutely amazing!" Kaylee smiled. Don't mention it." And with that she left.

GLaDOS poured another cup of coffee and copied what Kaylee had done the first time. And for the first time since the up-grade, she felt that pleasant emotion called happy.


End file.
